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asdfadsfDave Bad DoctorObtained from Kids in the H any FAQDave Wanna know something? Im a high-risk doctor. Im not boasting. I mean, who would? Just stating a fact that Ive never in truth gotten the hang of the whole healing-the-sick thing. And dont interpret this as some sort of false modesty, delight its not, its not like Im weak in some areas. No, Im homogeneously unqualified to practice medicine in any capacity. I *really* dont have a clue. And no one could be more shocked than me that Ive been allowed to rise to a position of such importance and responsibility. I guess it all started in high school where I was a very bad science student. One day when we were supposed to be dissecting a frog, I by luck disassembled my desk. Oh, but, you know, I was a popular kid. You know, the other students were always eager to help me out. So you know, during a test whenever Id get that *confused* look on my take care - which was invariably - well, the cheat notes would just start flying E ven the teachers would start whispering answers, you know, *ahem* mitochondria... But I didnt worry about it. I figured, how far could you slideway on charm? Well, pretty far, actually They just offered me the job of Chief of Surgery. Apparently, Ive logged more hours in surgery than any other man my age. Four deoxyguanosine monophosphate hours this year alone. What no one seems to have noticed that it was all with the same patient. Oh I wanna show. Oh, I want to show you something. You know what this is? Urine. Another mans urine, aonther mans urine. I ask for it, and they give it to me I dont know what to do with it Ive got a fridge full of this stuff. I mean, I suppose I could impart it out to the lab, but theyd only send back a lot of test results that I couldnt possibly understand. The only thing Im actually sorta good at is referrals. You know that thing where doctors send patients to other doctors. Well, Im the king of referrals. What I do is I call the, uh, the sick pers on into my office, and I stare for a massive time really seriously at this blank sheet of paper.